Graham Pamping - The Blind Busker
People rushed and walked through Queen Street Mall, seemingly having their own destination to go to, and people are having such fun on meeting friends at this special place. Shops are all open and crowded with shoppers, for the people who can afford, and window shoppers, who can only look and desire.
There are a lot of things happening in the Queen Street Mall. There are so much to look for. Sometimes we would see people singing on the street while playing guitars, people playing magic tricks, people playing soccer ball tricks, and the crowds would stop by and have a look at them, give them applause, and some might even give them money in return. Even though, people tend to walk past from something so piddling, yet so significant. The presence of buskers has given the Mall much more vibrance, much more character, and become much more symbolic. But imagine, you could only hear them, but not to see them, while being one part of this.
The admiring fact about busking is that people who do this do not care about fame, they do not care about how people see them. They just want to have a go, experience the thrills and drops on performing on the street.
Graham Pamping, he is the one who plays saxophone on the street, and he doesn't care about fame, he doesn't care about how people see them. And most of all, he can only hear the sounds of everything happening in Queen Street Mall, and he could not see it - He is blind.
I have the honour to have a chat with him earlier. He shared a little bit about his past and beliefs that he strongly believes in.
Every day, he brings his saxophone and his chair with him, placing them in between the jewellery shop and the bubble tea stall. Then, he sits down, opens his saxophone case and starts to play his tunes.
I have been standing at the corridor next to the jewellery shop as I observe his performance, one song to the other: every time as he finishes a song, he puts his hand into the saxophone case, seek if anyone has thrown in any money. After a while of patting and tapping, he goes back to his saxophone, and plays another song.
As he stopped for a short break, I stepped forward and asked if he would like to have a chat. He accepted so I sat down with him, and have a little talk about him and his story of being a busker.
He has a great history of playing music: he played saxophone for 56 years and he was self-taught, without anyone's help and he used to play in clubs with bands, like those trios we see in movies.
He has a good life. He worked for people on building houses, farms, barns and shops, and he even built his own home all by himself. He had a son, and a wife, living happily in Sunshine Coast.
But things changed as he's lost his only, 18-year-old son, and separated with his wife. Sunshine Coast is the place where he was born, but he suffered depression for a long time after all these trembling memories. Not long after, he lost his eyesight, and he couldn't work anymore.
He has lost everything in his life - his only son and his wife. Now that he had lost his eyesight, it would be unimaginable for anyone not to think of suicide. But he thought, "I don't want to waste my life just to pity myself, and I want to make the most of my life." So he spent a long time thinking what he could do, what he could try to make way to get out of this... and he moved to Brisbane and started busking.
"I've never busked before," he said. "I didn't know what it's like so I thought I should give it go and see how it would guide me to." Busking seemed to be the only way out he could think of. No one would employ him because of his disability, age, and most of all, the ability to compete with other younger people in the workforce.
He told me that the thing about busking here on Queen Street Mall is that, you have to have a warrant for busking, and without that, you will be fined for $500 for being dishonest. "As for that warrant, it let me to perform here 24/7 and I can even play here at the eighth day of the week." He joked.
The courage of performing in front of no audience is no longer a valid thing to discuss. He told me, "People tend to think buskers are daredevils but I could say I'm not. I played saxophone for 56 years and I don't see why I can't perform in front of the public. I've been playing here in Queen Street Mall for 24 years now and I don't really have anything bad happened on me. No one's going to bash me away for a wrong note and people can just walk away, whether they like it or not."
"People don't realise the full potential of themselves because they haven't even tried," he told me. "Everything is all about doing it yourself. I've built my own home, I've built other people's home, I've dealt with depression on my own without counsellors. Everyone can listen to you but they couldn't help you. The only person that can help yourself if your own."
Being a younger generation, I realised people don't used to work on their own house project anymore, they don't know how to fix their cars and home appliances. I asked him what are his views of youngsters nowadays are reluctant to try anything, as if being protected by a form of "bubble". He answered, "Kids these days should try everything you want to try but too afraid of stepping out the first step. The main thing about that is because they fear, they fear because they don't know if they're going to fail or succeed."
His opinion about fear has led to another topic - religion. He asked me, "What if I asked you to go over to the roof over the building across the street, and I tell you to jump, what will you tell me?" Of course, I replied "no" to him because I don't want to die. "But what really makes you don't want to jump off?" I said because I'm afraid I'm going to be hurt or something, if death is not the concern. It is reasonable that people do not want to get hurt. No matter if it is physically or emotionally. So he finally revealed his answer. "Fear," he said. "Because you are afraid if you are going to hurt yourself. I can say if you jump off and you'll be perfectly fine and walk away afterwards. But no. You are just afraid of the unknown, the uncertainty. The fear that makes you to turn away from yourself."
"Because people are afraid, they started to believe there is an unknown that causes all the disasters on the earth. They fear God, they fear the one with power, and they indoctrinate children with those concept that makes them afraid to take responsibility, risk and determination."
He is an atheist, and like most atheists, he was one whose family brings him to Sunday School and pray for the lord Jesus Christ. "I was once very religious until the day I lost my eyesight." He told me in a cautious tone. "I mean, why did God take away my sight? I didn't do anything to hurt him, I prayed every now and then and I don't understand why he had taken me eyesight. I have done good deeds in order to save myself from hell and yet the God was somehow pissed and simply took away my eyesight. That's unfair. And that doesn't make sense."
"I asked myself, 'Does it really make sense that God has blessed you and saved you?'," He continued. "I don't think so. I think it just utter bull**** and I don't even care about it anymore after I lost my eyesight. I believe religion is just something that's manifested by humans' instinct of fear, the fear of unknown is just toxic. Religious people always debate about how Science is flawed and such, and you know what? Religion is the same, but with more bull****. They create meaningless hatred and fear that is not supposed to be happened."
He believes changing from being a faithful shepherd of God, into a logical and sensible thinker is a good way to change his attitude upon life. "Now I help blind kids how to read Braille, how to use a computer because I use computer to communicate as well. Not because I want to go to heaven, but because I just want to help them to lead their own better lives."
But still, he came across with Mormons every now and then, and they always shove him some flyers to read. "I'd say, bugger off. I don't believe in God. But if they just put down a note without me knowing, I'll find my mate and read it for me, and if I know it's about all those religious crap, I'll just throw it away. Simple."
But he has an opinion about others who helped blind people as well. "Sighted people will never able to teach blind people as good as blind people does, because they simply can't put themselves into our shoes and walk for a mile."
He was helped by many people as he works his way onto the bus back home, and curiously it's mostly Asian. He said the cane is just like his eyes, as well as his hands. People tend to grab him on his arm and leaving a blank space between his "eyes" to the world through the cane. It's like covering eyes with two hands. "That doesn't help anything at all, to be honest," He shook his head. "I sometimes thought, 'why don't you just leave me the f*** alone and let me get onto the bus myself?' But I can't, because this is not nice and people are just being nice to me. So I could only say, 'thanks a lot for helping.' But honestly I don't think I need anyone to help me. I am fine with myself."
After a good hour of talk, I have to leave him because if this goes on and on, he simply couldn't make money out of this, could he?
Just to wrap up, it was just a delightful moment to have conversation to a complete stranger and yet I can know about their past and story in such detail. It was also an exciting thing for me to do alone because this is the first (informal?) interview I did with others in my life. But I think I had to work a way to ask questions in a more indirect but effective ways because I always have this fear on offending somebody, that's no good for an interview where you want the interviewee to give you their details.
D.
